When “Just Aging” Becomes a Dismissal

It often starts the same way—something small, something new. Maybe it’s a strange fatigue, a persistent ache, brain fog, or sleep that feels more like restlessness than rest.

We bring it up at a doctor’s appointment, hoping for answers or at least curiosity. Instead, we’re met with a shrug and a phrase that so many of us have heard far too often: “That’s just part of getting older.” The implication is clear—there’s nothing to be done, and maybe nothing wrong at all. Just aging. We’re meant to accept it, even when it doesn’t feel right.

We Know Our Bodies—Why Doesn’t the System Trust That?

The problem is, we know our bodies. We’ve lived in them through every season—childbearing or not, through careers, caregiving, heartbreak, joy, and reinvention. We know the difference between natural change and when something is truly off.

But too often, the medical system doesn’t listen to women our age. Especially once the word “menopause” enters the conversation, almost everything gets attributed to it—or to stress, or to lifestyle. Symptoms get minimized or brushed aside. It can leave us feeling dismissed, invisible, or even doubting ourselves. But when we talk to each other, we start to see the pattern—and we begin to ask better questions.

When “Nothing’s Wrong” Turns Out to Be Something—or Something More

Several of my friends—smart, active women in their 60s—have confided in me: “I feel more tired now. And the less I do, the less energy I have.” Their doctors often wave it away as a natural part of aging. But I don’t buy that—not entirely. Yes, fatigue can be physical, and of course we should have thorough check-ups, blood work, and rule out any medical issues. But what happens when the results come back “normal” and we still feel off? That’s where the conversation needs to go deeper.

I think of my friend Cathy. Not long ago she was always bubbly—the life of every party, full of energy and ideas. Now, at just over 60, she tells me quietly, “I guess this is what it’s like after sixty. I don’t have it in me anymore. I feel tired all the time.” Watching her retreat from her vibrant self has been heartbreaking.

But when we’ve talked more openly, we’ve realized it’s not only about physical aging. It’s also about social disconnection, doing less, and missing the spark of learning or trying something new. I’ve seen how, when women like Cathy start gently re-engaging—meeting friends, taking walks, signing up for a class—they don’t just get busier. They start to feel alive again. Energy begins to return in ways they didn’t expect.

Aging Is Not the End of Passion

Takeaway: What to Do When You Feel Dismissed—or Drained

Trust Your Inner Knowing
If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t let anyone—especially a healthcare provider—convince you that it’s “just aging” without asking the right questions or doing the proper tests.

Ask for What You Need
Request thorough blood work, hormone panels, thyroid checks, and any screenings relevant to your symptoms. Be specific. Bring notes. Don’t be afraid to follow up or push back.

Reconnect with What Energizes You
Fatigue isn’t always physical. Isolation, boredom, and lack of purpose can drain us, too. Reach out to a friend. Try a new class. Go for a walk. Do something unfamiliar that gets your brain or body moving. Here is a great article on Staying Active.

Change Your Doctor, Not Your Mind
If your concerns are dismissed, consider finding a new doctor—ideally someone experienced in women’s health after midlife and someone you feel you can trust. Your time, health, and peace of mind are too valuable to waste.

Let’s Talk

Feeling great in your 50s, 60s, and beyond isn’t just possible — it’s totally within reach. I’d love to hear from you in the comments on the She’s Got Stories page — or share this with a friend who needs a reminder that feeling great isn’t just possible — it’s totally within reach.

Disclaimer: This content is for informational and inspirational purposes only and reflects personal experiences and opinions. It is not professional medical, legal, or therapeutic advice. Please consult a qualified expert for your individual needs. View full disclaimer and privacy policy →